A little girl talked to me yesterday. I was sitting on my bed deep in thought and was surprised by her presence. I wasn’t sure what to do or say so I lay there silent, with my eyes closed, and listened. She told me a story of something that happened to her. This is what she said…

“In the underground there are cages. It is dark and cold and scary there. It is sad and painful. I cried a lot. Not out loud though, because if you do, that is bad and you get in trouble. You can only lay down with your legs curled up to your stomach. You can’t talk to the others who are next to you. If you do, they will take you and do things to you. They burn you. They eat you. They cut you open. They tie you up and put things inside of you. They scream in your face. They hit you and don’t stop until you stop making noise. I don’t like it here. I can never leave. They will chase me and take me back. I have to do what they say or they will cut me. Or burn me. No one will help me. Everyone forgets about me. I try to tell them what’s happening but they all stop talking to me. They are too busy.  I don’t think they believe me “

When she was done talking, she cried.

This story took the little life that I had left out of me. It has frozen me in a way that I have not felt in a very long time. I feel stuck in that cage again. With no power and no will to fight for freedom. I can only sit there and obey. It is the safest thing to do. I want to help her but I don’t know how. I want to save her but I don’t know who she is or why she came to me. I want to talk to someone about this but no one is there.

8 thoughts on “The Girl In A Cage…

  1. This brings back memories of my situation and healing journey through therapy. I am a sexual and emotional abuse survivor, and with many, many years of psychotherapy, I finally was able to believe that none of the abuse was my fault, was an intelligent person who carried a ton of guilt with thoughts of suicide playing in my head too often. That being the sexual abuse at six years old and the continuous emotional abuse from my narcissistic mother for most of my life.

    The healing journey is painful and I talked to my “little girl” and she talked to me endless times. I had to assure her that we were going to be ok, that we could cry and it was allowed because we were hurt by someone we trusted.

    I still get triggers and nightmares at times, however, I’ve used the tools that therapy has taught me and that has guided me to survive. I am now living the life I should have instead of suffering for over 40 years with guilt, shame, depression, and self-hate.

    Be gentle with yourself and thanks for sharing. Warmly, Deb

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh sweetie I hurt for you. Please be kind and gentle with yourself. Know that you are no longer in that cage. You are some where safe. You and the little girl can cry, scream, and get all those emotions out that weren’t allowed back then. Hold something that can remind you of your age now and allow the grief to come. it’s painful but better out than stuffed inside. Much love….

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m here. I’m listening and you are allowed to talk or write about this. So is the little girl. I know it feels so scary down there (and I know because something similar happened to me)
    I know that it feels like it’s happening now and that you are never able to leave but maybe you could look at your feet. Try moving them, stretching your legs, go for a tiny walk, move your arm and maybe two?
    Look outside, maybe you can see birds and if you want, you could go outside, feel the sun, there is no one to obey now.
    I know that that can feel scary to and you don’t have to do this all at once (or at all) but maybe it could bring some grounding and comfort.
    I’m here.

    Liked by 2 people

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